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2033 Season in Jeopardy?

Will the NFL become America's PAST time?

Lets take a minute, while I set the table with Adam Jones.

The year is 2033, the game.... football. Recent surveys, conducted by anyone who has a brain, have concluded that the NFL has overtaken baseball as Americans pastime. While some in NFL circles are celebrating this historic announcement others are preparing for war.

In a recent interview, President-Elect Greta Thunberg has indicated that her war with the clouds will have a drastic effect the NFL season. "In 2019, my three week climate change journey across the World made me realize that I am God." Thunberg elaborated. "You all live in my simulation so why wouldn't I treat the world like a RollerCoaster Tycoon game? Oh so you people like football? Here, put some makeup on so at least you'll look good when I fuck you".

And what a rollercoaster it has been.

A TDB investigation has uncovered the Presidential Executive Order Thunberg plans to sign in her first day of office. The Executive Order seems to mirror the Climate Pledge of net zero-carbon emissions.

  1. No fans - Only Greta at games

  2. All teams must wear Seahawks lime green jerseys

  3. Require all stadiums to be powered by Rizzo's mo-ped

  4. Breathing limit for players to limit amount of O2

  5. All "squad" members must own an NFL franchise

  6. Shot on sight for anyone that smiles

  7. NO GAMES in the months of Nov-March to limit carbon emissions

With week one kicking off tonight, it will be interesting to see who will bend the knee in this clash of the giants.

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