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A Very Blurry Playoff Picture


For the past 10 seasons, who would make the NFC playoffs was virtually a forgone conclusion. Lions, WFT, Cardinals, Falcons, Bucs were basically locks, and the Eagles-Rams would battle for the final spot, with 75% of the time it going to the Eagles. The Vikings also participated in the league.


But in 2032, the picture is not quite as clear.


Sure, it seems like the Lions and Cardinals will all go dancing again, but that’s where the guarantees stop. Let’s take a minute to breakdown each contender for the Dance.


Locks


Detroit Lions – After sweeping the upstart Vikings, it would take a 3-5 finish down the stretch coupled with the Vikings winning out for the Lions to miss the NFC North spot. With only 4 human games left, that’s not happening.


Arizona Cardinals – The questionable decision to let Dave Oldham walk has worked out great so far, as veteran Kyler Murray has held down the fort to a tune of 8-0. Even with 4 human games left, just a Week 16 vs the Rams in Los Angeles would all but cement another spot for Fatty Matty Ryebread in the playoffs.


Probable


Atlanta Falcons – A team that should be in the “Lock” section, but second half breakdown and a walk-off touchdown allowed vs. the division rival Bucs has left them slightly less certain. Still, 7-1 and a game up on the Bucs, the Falcons control their own destiny. With only human games vs. the Vikings and the Lions left on the schedule, one win and the Falcons are locks. And even if they drop both, things would have to break perfectly wrong for them to miss the dance.


The Bubble


The Washington Football Team – The Football Team would at least be in the “Probable” section if not for an improbable collapse to the Rams that ended on a brutal pass interference call and walk off field goal. That monkey wrench has left the Football Team on slightly less sure footing, but they still control their own destiny. Their toughest stretch is coming up, with three of the next four games vs. the Cardinals, at Tampa, and vs. the Lions. If WFT can just win one of those games and then take care of business Week 17 vs. their personal whipping boy Abe Hands, they’ll win the division. And even if they were to lose all three, a win vs. the Eagles would leave the Eagles needing to run the table vs. their other three human opponents.


Tampa Bay Buccaneers – The Bucs saved their season in Week 6 with a walk-off touchdown vs. the Falcons. Now sitting at 6-2, the road map to the playoffs is simple. With games vs. the Football Team, the Cardinals, and the rebuilding Bears left, it’s win two and you’re in.


Los Angeles Rams – Carried by rookie sensation Javier Gabriel, the Rams are a surprising 6-2. They have arguably been the most exciting team to watch in the league, with two monster comebacks vs. the Vikings and Football Team, a competitive game vs. the Cardinals, and a blown lead to the Falcons. With only 3 human games left – one of them is vs. the lowly Cowboys – and a tiebreaker over the Vikings, a win vs. the Eagles and the Rams are all but in. But a loss…


Philadelphia Eagles – Abe Hands is in a familiar situation. Stack stats and wins vs bad competition, and no-show the big games. That strategy got you playoff spots in years past, but it won’t work in 2032. With huge games vs. Minnesota, the Rams, and WFT up (plus a should-be-gimme win vs. Dallas) coming up, two losses might doom the Birds.


Minnesota Vikings – Lightning rod first year coach Dale Arnold has the Vikings on the fringes of playoff contention. However, a one-point loss to the Lions and an OT loss to the Rams certainly aren’t helping his cause. With human games at Philly, at Chicago, and vs. Atlanta left, the Vikings will need to win out, and get some help.


Drawing Dead


Chicago Bears – It’s a rebuilding year for new coach Roger Podacter. The Bears will look to next year for realistic playoff hopes.


Dallas Cowboys – Lulz


For the majority of the league, the playoffs have already started. It should be a fun second half of the season watching how it plays out.

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