After a rollercoaster first half of the season, the Vikings and Dale Arnold have mutually agreed to part ways. The decision comes after a heart breaking loss in the Biggest Game of the Year Bowl, 28-21.
This mutual agreement to part ways is mindboggling to say the least. When pressed for comment, GM Ziggy said "I was struggling with this decision all night, I couldn't sleep." Ziggy did admit he was thinking about this decision after two brutal early season losses that crippled the upstart Vikings. The tipping point of the already fractured GM/coach relationship was a midnight tweet from ESPN reporter Adam Schefter.
This drew the Twitter into a conspiracy frensy. On ESPN's Cold Pizza Show, Schefter followed up on his tweet in response to Woody Paige's direct attack saying "a tweet like this could insight a large crowd to storm the gates of the NFL office in wolf outfits". Schefter said he was contacted by a "distraught" Ziggy late last night. He fell into a wormhole and found what was now, the final straw with Arnold.
Arnold has a questionable history of being associated with losing teams. (see below) Dale & the Bruins
Dale and the Red Sox
Dale and the Patriots
Arnold's most famous line as a play-by-play announcer came in a 1988 game at Sullivan Stadium between the Patriots and the Indianapolis Colts when Doug Flutie ran in the winning touchdown in the final 30 seconds; the crowd erupted and Arnold described the scene as "This place has gone icky balooky!"
Those stats are just down right rude. Just rude, not only to the city of Boston, not to the sports franchises, but to all of sports. When pressed for comment, Arnold said "When I'm in the showahh, I jerk off to Zedeno Charahh. This also gives me plenty of time to hone in on my ghost hunting skills".
OC Peter Abraham will be the interim coach for the remainder of the season. In a statement Abraham said, "It's an honor to coach such a young, talented team. I have sucked off guys that can throw and hit small circle balls and I am looking forward to sucking off guys who can throw a ball far".
A sad ending to a sad beginning.
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