(Dallas, TX)
Not since Lee Harvey Oswald has the city of Dallas seen someone make such an impactful first impression as head coach Matt Wuhlbanger. After forcing his way out of Minnesota due to ongoing confrontations with league commissioner TrigDraws, Wuhlbanger has brought his brand of underachieving dramatics to big D. As expected, the season has been a whirlwind of mediocrity. However, the team has played better of late and still holds a paper thin shot of sneaking in the playoffs.
After leaving Minneapolis, Wuhlbanger took a sabbatical to his home country of Germany to rediscover his inner self and his old groove. The trip was so impactful at a spiritual level that Wuhlbanger legally changed his name to sound more German when he returned to the states. The lessons learned in the motherland have transformed Wuhlbanger into more of a no-nonsense dictator that hasn't been since since the likes of Joseph Goebbels. The feedback from players has been more negative than positive overall.
As Dallas holds on to a tiny string of hope this season, Wuhlbanger knows that its a marathon and not a sprint. He will continue to grow as a man and hopefully learn from the mistakes that have plagued his coaching career to this point.
Comments